Years ago I had a spiritual teacher who told me about a little nightly ritual she did for herself as a small form of worship. It is, quite simply, just going through the events of your day just before bed and thinking about all the things you have to be thankful for. I don't recall if she had a name for it but I have always referred to it as my daily thankfuls.
In these months that I have been here in Cowichan Bay at the Backyard Feast retreat center, I certainly have a lot to be thankful for. No matter where I am, I always say to myself I am thankful for the roof over my head, the food in my belly, for clean air and safe drinking water. These are things that we may take for granted but I am certainly aware that not everyone in the world has these things. I am thankful for my friends Toni and the Skipper for taking me in like this (I thank the heavens for them every night). I am thankful for the healing chickens (just watching them inspires love, it is amazing how pure and powerful that feeling is). I am thankful for all the learning I am doing right now about gardening, livestock, food experiments, baking bread and pizza.
I am also thankful for my husband. It was five years ago today that he proposed. We did not make a big production out of it, we had only been together for a month at that point, but we both knew that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. I remember Dan had told himself that he was going to wait until we had had our first fight (and recovered from it) before he would propose, but if he had held to that we would still be waiting. (Sure we have had disagreements, and even been mad at each other, but we love and respect each other so much that our conflicts are easily smoothed over). It turned out that we had a mildly stressful evening, and Dan must have decided he didn't want to wait, that the time was right to ask me.
No one believed us at first. I had gone through several romantic entanglements that seemed promising at first but none of them amounted to anything. Here I must admit I had a penchant for drama in my relationships (if that is still true, I am denying it:-)), so it was no surprise to me that no one really believed us. But then we moved in together (I had never lived with a boyfriend before). We took a road trip to Alberta for Dan to meet my sister and her family. It was a year later that we had our first wedding ceremony (first of two - one was the public ceremony officiated by friends, the second was the legal ceremony with the marriage commissioner). So when people ask how long we've been married, we usually say "we were married when we met".
Working my way back from that unintended digression, let me now tell you about my nightly thankful routine. I settle into bed, Sam arranges herself nearby. In my mind I cast a circle of protection around my space, with the intention of wanting to be free from negativity as I sleep. I ask for a peaceful and restful slumber. I list what/who I am thankful for. Then I make my nightly wishes, the first always being I wish to be reunited with my husband. It's not a long list, usually, because really all that I want is to be in North Carolina with Dan and my green card (and kitty too, of course).
And sometimes I don't even make it that far into this nightly ritual - sometimes I fall asleep before I get to the end. I'm okay with that; it's a good thing. I am someone who used to resist sleep, and it used to take me an hour and a half or more to fall asleep. Once I got together with Dan and adjusted to the snoring (we won't say whose), sleep came much more easily. I am thankful for that too. :-)
In these months that I have been here in Cowichan Bay at the Backyard Feast retreat center, I certainly have a lot to be thankful for. No matter where I am, I always say to myself I am thankful for the roof over my head, the food in my belly, for clean air and safe drinking water. These are things that we may take for granted but I am certainly aware that not everyone in the world has these things. I am thankful for my friends Toni and the Skipper for taking me in like this (I thank the heavens for them every night). I am thankful for the healing chickens (just watching them inspires love, it is amazing how pure and powerful that feeling is). I am thankful for all the learning I am doing right now about gardening, livestock, food experiments, baking bread and pizza.
I am also thankful for my husband. It was five years ago today that he proposed. We did not make a big production out of it, we had only been together for a month at that point, but we both knew that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. I remember Dan had told himself that he was going to wait until we had had our first fight (and recovered from it) before he would propose, but if he had held to that we would still be waiting. (Sure we have had disagreements, and even been mad at each other, but we love and respect each other so much that our conflicts are easily smoothed over). It turned out that we had a mildly stressful evening, and Dan must have decided he didn't want to wait, that the time was right to ask me.
No one believed us at first. I had gone through several romantic entanglements that seemed promising at first but none of them amounted to anything. Here I must admit I had a penchant for drama in my relationships (if that is still true, I am denying it:-)), so it was no surprise to me that no one really believed us. But then we moved in together (I had never lived with a boyfriend before). We took a road trip to Alberta for Dan to meet my sister and her family. It was a year later that we had our first wedding ceremony (first of two - one was the public ceremony officiated by friends, the second was the legal ceremony with the marriage commissioner). So when people ask how long we've been married, we usually say "we were married when we met".
Working my way back from that unintended digression, let me now tell you about my nightly thankful routine. I settle into bed, Sam arranges herself nearby. In my mind I cast a circle of protection around my space, with the intention of wanting to be free from negativity as I sleep. I ask for a peaceful and restful slumber. I list what/who I am thankful for. Then I make my nightly wishes, the first always being I wish to be reunited with my husband. It's not a long list, usually, because really all that I want is to be in North Carolina with Dan and my green card (and kitty too, of course).
And sometimes I don't even make it that far into this nightly ritual - sometimes I fall asleep before I get to the end. I'm okay with that; it's a good thing. I am someone who used to resist sleep, and it used to take me an hour and a half or more to fall asleep. Once I got together with Dan and adjusted to the snoring (we won't say whose), sleep came much more easily. I am thankful for that too. :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment