The Story of Samantha Sophia 2002-2015

Okay I think enough time has passed now that I can write about what happened.

We had a holiday party on Saturday, December 19. Sam usually hid in the back room when more than three people came into the house, and when she didn't move for a few hours, we thought that was really strange but wrote it off as her learning to be more social. A couple hours after everyone left, she started behaving very strangely. Constantly walking around the house, walking on parts of us and the bed she doesn't normally go, constant swallowing. At 2am we decided to take her to the emergency vet clinic.

A few very expensive tests later, the vet told Dan that Sam had no platelets - no cause, no cure - and would not live to Christmas. While we were there Sam became very lethargic and went blind. It was so hard to watch. We were given the options of leaving her there for more tests, having her put down, or taking her home. We opted for the latter. We got home at 4am and she was totally unresponsive. She went peacefully an hour later.

It was just so sudden and there was no way we could have prepared ourselves for that, nothing we could have done differently to help. She did not suffer.

It's been a long time since I have had to mourn the loss of a loved one. She was my baby, we were together for 13 years - a long time for her breed as I understand it but I expected her to live at least to 17. That cat has been all over the place though - she was born in Korea, I took her to Canada in 2003, she moved between Alberta & BC for a few years until we settled in BC, Then we immigrated to the United States in 2013, moved to North Carolina and then Utah eleven months later. She lived in Utah just nine days shy of two years.

This all happened at a very interesting time, actually. If it had happened during a semester I would have been completely messed up. Because she died just at the beginning of the Christmas break, I had time to grieve with no work obligations - and we had no social plans for Christmas either (thank the heavens!) If it had happened at the end of this spring semester when we are also planning to move out of the house we are renting, that would have been difficult too. So really, it could not have come at a better time. Kitties know that, I think. Still, it's been hard getting used to our house being really quiet.

In the days that followed her passing, we took out all the kitty supplies. Her two scratching posts were nearly threadbare anyway, and with the mobility ramps that Dan built in 2013, all her paraphernalia took up a lot of space. I gave away her food to neighbours. We had to clean up from the party anyway but we have completely rearranged the house again.

It's also really changed our perspective on things. It was unconscious, but we had planned to stay in Salt Lake after I graduate partly because we didn't want to put her through another move. We don't have to worry about that now. We can also go away for a week or weekend and not need to find someone to look after the kitty. We definitely plan to get cats again in the future but not until we are a bit more stable and we know where I will be working.

During the week around New Year's eve, I looked after my friend Jenn's cats while she was away. She didn't know I had lost my companion. It was so nice to be loved up by her big fluffy kitties - I think they knew I was grieving for my baby.

Because of the full-on winter weather we had for the two weeks over the holidays, we weren't able to find a place to bury Sam. Finally, on New Year's day we found a good place in the western desert and gave her a perfect send off. We did everything we could for her, and now it's time to let her go and move on. I still get sad and cry every day when something reminds me of her, of course. She's the only pet I have ever had in my adult life. But as a gardener, I understand that all things must die that others may live.

Grad School Interview day

I don't want to disclose too much detail about how epic and wonderful my day at the Biomedical Informatics department was last week, so forgive me for being a bit vague.

In sum:

I was interviewed by three professors, all of whom I had met before and who have heard my story. I have been attending every one of the research seminars the department puts on every week so my name and face have been getting out there.

Having paid my own way to go to the AMIA Symposium last fall was a big feather in my cap.

My research with the BC Cancer Agency and Victoria Hospice was impressive.

They are excited about my skill set.

I can write well.

"I think you will do well in the program" one prof said.

"I have a job for you" said another.


And I can't make big declarative statements like "of course I'll be accepted" but it sure sounds like it. And if I do, it will be doing the non-thesis Master's (which means more course work but it is largely stuff I have done before) and then after a year, with support, I can transition into the doctoral program.

If I can get my US citizenship by then, I will be eligible for NLM funding which is very nice.


So, at this moment I am expecting I will be starting grad school in the fall. If the stars are aligned, in five to seven years I'll be the first Slager in my family with a PhD.

we interrupt this blog post

I know I promised to post the rest of our travel photos "tomorrow" a week ago. And I will, possibly later today. Where does the time go? I'm going to tell you a little bit of news, then I'm going to go outside and shovel snow, then I'm going to decide what we are having for dinner and make a shopping list. I'll walk to the grocery store two blocks away through this blizzard, and then come home and start cooking. Or maybe I'll get another blog post in first.

The news: We have been here for eleven days now. Surely the weather is colder than we are used to and there has been snow on the ground the whole time. I don't mind, it's just one more new experience. Well, not new, I did after all grow up in a place that has real winter. But it's been twenty years since I really lived in a place that has weather like this and that it is a normal thing that will stick around longer than a few days.

We are enjoying our new surroundings and are making new friends. The "street" we live on, the one on our address, is not actually a street, it's a sidewalk off a street. I'm guessing it used to be an alley for horse-drawn carriages? At any rate, it means that all our neighbors are close but we have an amazing amount of privacy. With no cars going by, it is also very quiet, which I love. The place we were in before was noisy and not at all private, and I felt like a caged animal in that house. This house is much nicer than the one we moved out of. It's smaller, and far easier to keep clean. I can't tell you how happy I am about this. Sam is happy too, she has been more affectionate with Dan here than she ever has in her whole life.

So my first bit of news is that I have been requested to write a blog for a private company. It hasn't started yet, as the company isn't quite ready to get going, but when they are that task will fall to me. I'm pretty excited about that, it's a great company.

The second is that I had an interview with the Wasatch Community Gardens on Monday. I had contacted them in December, in applying for one of their intern programs. I am passionate about local food and I wanted to get involved with the local foodshed right away, this seemed the best place to start. After my conversation with the coordinator, we agreed I am a good fit and so will be their 2014 Urban Farming Apprentice, starting in a few weeks. Much of the things they want done are things I have done before, in terms of compost rehabilitation and soil building, and there will be some organizing too (yay! I love organizing).

The biggest news: I have been in touch with a few people from the University of Utah, having met a number of them at the AMIA Symposium back last November. After a meeting yesterday morning that I was hoping would result in a job, ended up resulting in an application to do a second Master's degree. I was kind of deflated at the suggestion ("but I already have and MSc in this field!") but it became clear that there are many more doors open to students. This is not to say there won't be work for me beforehand, and I am making my rounds and meeting all the people. There is a dearth of qualitative researchers here and I am SO EXCITED because I was warned all those years ago that there wouldn't be much work for people like me. There hasn't been. Until now. I am in the right place. So HURRAY! I have sent off my resume to a number of people and some of them have heard of me already. I'll go to the research seminars presented every week (the U is an 11-minute train ride from my station, which is only a block and a half away) and will get deeply reacquainted with what is happening in the field. Turns out there is a lot happening at the University of Utah.

It all happened so fast yesterday that I was still spinning by the end of they day, but it feels right. If I can turn that Master's into a PhD, I may do just that. This is a place I want to stay for a while, I can certainly commit to being in Utah for at least five years. More if things are good for both me and Dan.

Oh there is one other thing - we got fitbits! I heard about fitbits in November when I was at the Symposium and have been thinking about them ever since. Certainly with the stress last year and the difficulty exercising (due to crazy schedules and not feeling safe in our neighborhood), I have regained much of the weight I had lost back in 2011. But I did it once and I will do it again. This time it will be much easier (well, if weight loss can be easy) because it seems like a video game and watching the stats on my iPhone app is a data manager's wet dream. People are obsessed with these things. I hope I don't become like that. I'll let you know.

Still one other thing: Thanks to my Twitter buddy Donna Druchunas, there is a small group of us doing a group course of The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. I have owned the book since 1998 and have done the program a couple of times on my own, but it is nice to go back to it with a bunch of buddies and see how we do. I may do some blog posts specifically about that - I hope I have time because this kind of work digs up a lot of stuff formerly buried in one's psyche.

Okay that's it, I really have to go shovel snow. I will try to post photos later!

There are no Cockroaches in Utah

So, we're moving to Utah next month.

I can't really go into details at this point but we're doing it for family.

I have lived in a lot of places and moved around a lot (I know some of my readers can relate) and I cling to the dream of one day staying in one place long enough to settle in and unpack, but unfortunately North Carolina is not that place. It's too far away from family who need us.

I have been here nearly ten months now, if you can believe that. In that time I have worked four jobs (furniture store, live music night club, health food store and art gallery), met hundreds of people, swam in the Atlantic Ocean, seen all three of North Carolina's aquariums (and one in South Carolina), visited our nation's capital three times, found every Asian grocery store in a 150-mile radius, saw sorghum, tobacco and cotton growing for the first time, experienced fire ants, killed dozens of cockroaches in my house, and have learned to love the south and all its charms. I will miss being here.

As a result of my jobs (especially managing the bar) and my relationship to the brewery (i.e. my husband's job), I have managed to build a lot of social capital in a way that was never possible in any of the other places I have lived. There are some really amazing people in this community and I have come to develop some great friendships. I am also pretty sure that I speak differently now - I bet if I go visit my people in Canada now they will notice how differently I pronounce vowels...

I have about four weeks to pack up the house, we will be traveling over Christmas. We have family near Salt Lake City, where we are moving to. I haven't been to SLC since our honeymoon in 2009, but certainly the few times I have been through Utah I have enjoyed it there. It is a beautiful state.

It turns out that Salt Lake City is a hotbed of health informatics research, the field I have not been in since I graduated with my Master of Science in 2009 and to which I hope to return. I have already put out some feelers and with any luck will be gainfully employed with the University of Utah in some capacity by my 40th birthday in March. Dan... well, you know, he can do any number of things well so he is extremely employable.

What about the Mormons, you say? I'm sure they won't hurt us. Just now we are in the land of the Free Will Baptists, and I think the Mormons speak a different language entirely, so we are not concerned. Even if we were at risk of converting I'm sure we wouldn't be eligible because we can't have kids and one wife is all Dan can handle. (Though having a second wife in the house to keep up with the housework would be useful, haha!)

So once again we will be divesting ourselves of the stuff we have accumulated and buy ourselves a trailer for the essentials. Dan has some wood and metal tools that will be coming with us, and hopefully one day soon he will have a shop where he can build stuff for us. But it will be, unfortunately, starting over again. We have very little furniture so will have to buy a dining set and living room furniture when we get there - we will have time for thrift store shopping when I get there I hope.

It's a bittersweet move. Just when I feel settled, we need to uproot, but I am happy to be nearer to family (my sister and mother are ecstatic - cheaper flights for them to come visit). I am also happy to be living in a city again that has things like coffee shops that are open evenings and weekends, bookstores, yarn shops, public transit, orchestra concerts, and access to nature. Also: IKEA! (Our nearest one here is clear across the state and is an entire day trip to get there and back).

I'll be sending out holiday greeting cards in the next week - if I don't have your mailing address, please let me know and I will be sure to send you one!

New job!

I gave my notice at the night club mid-way through August and have ever since been applying for all sorts of jobs, near and far. Despite being "overqualified" for many of them, the ones I feel I am qualified for in my field haven't given me so much as a nibble. I had a really excellent interview a couple of weeks ago, probably the best I have ever had (sorry Jeff, yours is a close second), and would have taken the job if it wasn't for the hours - afternoons and evenings five nights a week, including weekends. After spending so much time away from Dan, I just can't give up my weekends to work anymore. 

There isn't a lot to offer in downtown Kinston but of the businesses that are here, there are some real gems. The brewery and The Red Room bookend a night out for out-of-towners, filled with a dinner to one of Kinston's three downtown restaurants: Ginger 108, Chef and the Farmer, and The Boiler Room. In my mind, that comprises the food and beverage community. There is also the Queen Street Deli, but it is only open weekdays until four, so it mostly serves locals rather than people from out of town.

In the middle of this little community (and I can tell you that, having worked at The Red Room, I know all the people who work in these places) is a health food store called Living Well. For those of us who live in Mitchelltown, two or three blocks away from this food and beverage downtown, Living Well can be viewed as the nearest grocery store. The owner, Judy, has a broad and friendly smile, welcomes everyone into her store, usually by name, and knows what her customers want.

I have been going there about once a week or so for a while now, as have a few of the brewery staff. Judy has been a big supporter of The Red Room and always made sure she had the current poster of the the month's events clearly displayed in her shop. In my last week working at the night club, she asked me if I had anything else lined up, to which I replied "no". She said want to come work for me part time? I said "let's talk!"

We had a great conversation. I know my way around a health food store and already have a lot of product knowledge. I also know a lot about localist movements, CSAs, and how to grow a business. We were both really excited and didn't quite commit, though I had pretty much decided within a day of our conversation that I would go work for her.

A week and a half went by, as I had some things to take care of (my truck! I know have a North Carolina plate on my truck and can legally drive here!) and she was away at a trade show. Turns out we both spent all that time thinking about each other. :-) I went in soon after her shop opened yesterday and we were both so excited she jumped up and hugged me. I start this afternoon.

I honestly did not expect my work path to take me in this direction, but this is a field I am really interested in and have experience with. I can also do a lot of good here. Not only that, Judy clearly values my skills and respects my input, which means a lot to me. I can't remember the last time someone who has just hired me gave me a hug (ever?)

I'll be working weekdays, for the most part, possibly the occasional Saturday. After having the entire weekend with Dan off last weekend, it felt like a l o n g time that we got to spend together which was pretty awesome, so weekdays was definitely the right decision for me. With a staff discount and other perks (casual dress, a four-minute walk to work), not to mention room for advancement, this is definitely the right thing for me right now. Also? I can use more of my skill set and be able to help. I don't have to be around drunk people or smokers, so that's nice too. Lots of people already know me and it will be interesting to see the people of this area from this new perspective. I am excited to start my new job today.

My time running a night club comes to an end

I have been managing a night club for the past five months, and my original arrangement with the owner was that I would do this for the summer and then decide from there. I decided on August 16 that I had about six weeks left in me and then I need to be doing something else.

This has definitely been one of my more interesting jobs. I had a lot of really solid management skills from past experience:
- in my younger days I received management training when I was working in fast food
- when my mum had a cappuccino shop on northern Vancouver Island and had no previous food service experience, I was able to help her with that side of things
- at the hospital I worked at I took what was originally a chaotic environment and managed to streamline processes and make things efficient
- I managed to get my Master's project completed and thesis written
- I led an extra-curricular club when I was in university that met every two weeks and put together one or two events every semester that were much like putting together a theatrical play

My current job has allowed me to use all my skills in managing data, logistics, events, money, and people. Turns out, I love managing data. I keep stats on just about everything. Logistics are fun because I am challenged to envision what things we will need, from more seating, to who will be my sound guy when my regular sound guy is performing and my back up sound guy is in another country. I have *always* loved planning events, anyone who knows me knows I love to throw parties. Managing money (so much as I have responsibility for) in this case is really quite easy, but I have particularly paid attention to what kinds of bands will bring in the cash - and if they don't, we don't book them again. But it has been managing people here that has brought me the most satisfaction. When I started it was just me and my sound guy. I have since been able to hire two more bartenders (one who has become my right hand, I rely heavily on her). I had a bouncer for a couple of months, then he got hired at a new restaurant, and I have since had to hire two more because we are getting so busy that we need crowd management. Then there is the managing of bands, customers, vendors, media, colleagues and other sundry people I deal with. I really enjoy that for the most part, even when I have to play the bouncer myself (which is a bit stressful, I admit). I have learned really a lot in this job and I definitely feel like my management muscles have been flexed.

But I can't sustain this pace. I'm working six days a week and three of those are late nights, which absolutely messes with my sleep schedule for the rest of the week, so I am finding that I am always tired. My weekends are also entirely taken over with work which is often the only time I would normally get to spend time with my husband, from whom I was separated for 20 months having had to wait for immigration, so I would like to have my weekends back too. Also I still have my student loan debt to consider, so I need to be paying that off as soon as I can so we can one day start thinking about buying property...

I am looking to return to health care research, academic administration or management. I have applied for everything I am interested in/qualified for at East Carolina University (about 30 miles from here) and so far have only heard back from one posting, who will be doing interviews in September. Fingers crossed I am in a new position in my field by the end of September, as my last day at the Red Room will be September 21st. If I can't find something in my field before then, I'll find another temporary job - a day job - until I do.

I must say I am very proud of what we have accomplished at the club in these past five months. I appreciate all my staff do and say so every day. We have really gelled as a family and it feels good to know that if something goes sideways on a crazy busy night, there are 20 people standing beside me who have my back. I hope my replacement finds enjoyment in this work as I have, but is more adaptable to the schedule than me - I'm nearing 40 and am ready for a regular schedule.

a wee update on life

O dear. I had such big plans for multiple posts including photos that I was going to get done this weekend.... and then I decided I was going to finish three large-ish knitting projects all in one day, then pull out my entire yarn stash and decide what to give away the next. All good things.

I have a new sense of motivation. I have made some decisions lately regarding my knitting and yarn habits.
1) I will endeavor to have no more yarn than I can reasonably knit in the space of a year
2) I will finish or frog all my WIPs in a timely fashion.
3) I will not acquire yarn for the sake of acquiring yarn - I must have a project in mind when shopping for yarn.
4) In preparation for the Cookie A Sock Retreat in Tofino in April, I am planning to knit half of a pair of seven of her sock patterns. There is seven weeks until the retreat and I figure I can bang out a sock a week, my sock mojo is back! After the retreat I'll go and knit the partners to all the socks. The first socks of each pair will go on display at the yarn shop, so Ellie can show people Cookie A's designs as well as show off what the yarns she carries look like when they're knit up. I am already one chart repeat into Eunice, a pattern from her book Sock Innovation, which I received for Christmas. I'm using Gaia's Colours yarn for this first sock, and have enough of GC yarn in different colours for three more pairs of socks. I have lined up the yarns with the patterns I intend to knit them into. We'll see how it goes!

5) After reducing my stash to less than a full Rubbermaid bin, I might do this same thing with my fabric stash as well. I'm not much of a seamstress and have three fabrics & patterns for garments I wanted to make a year ago or more, despite having received a sewing machine for Christmas 2009, and I just don't use it enough. I know I need more practice but I think I need to bite off smaller pieces and work on simpler projects. Most of the fabric in my stash is stuff I'm not really interested in working with. If Dan wants to keep it, he is welcome to, but I will soon abdicate responsibility for managing that stash too.
6) In the spirit of de-stashing and clutter-busting, I expect to feel a lot lighter, and potentially mobile. All of my music is already in electronic format (and, truth be told, I listen to podcasts way more than I listen to music anyway), so we are considering buying a Kindle when we have a bit of extra money. While we love the feel of books, it is far more practical for us to have an e-reader. Only about 10% of our book collection is currently on display, and the rest of it is in boxes in the crawl space for lack of bookshelves.

It feels like a bit of a watershed moment for me. If I can slough off those things that I have large collections of, then I think I will feel a lot better about myself. I am also sloughing off a lot of weight physically.

Since starting this program eight weeks ago, I have lost 15 pounds. I am, as of today, at the point where my favourite jeans are loose on me and I might have to dig up my less-than-heavy jeans. I don't quite fit into my thin beige cords that I bought in Korea (that's my litmus test), but I'm getting close. Once my weight comes down ten or more pounds, I will have quite a bit of clothing I won't wear anymore too. I will once again be able to fit into lots of the pretty things I wore six or more years ago. Living where I live, it's totally acceptable to go around town in sweatpants or pajamas (not that I would ever do that), so if I don't manage to replace my wardrobe with Thin Clothes promptly, it's not a big deal. I wear a uniform to work (scrubs!) so that's not an issue either. But I will have to consider a clothing budget at some point. I'm really looking forward to that.

Next weekend we have some house guests coming, and I think that will be the beginning of the season of visitors of all the people who said they would come up here 'in the spring'. This is a good opportunity to give the house a thorough spring cleaning, much welcomed by the above mentioned clutter busting. I'm realizing I don't need all the stuff I have; it does not define me. Less stuff means less stuff to clean, organize, manage. It will be easier to clean up the house and get ready for house guests and I'll feel more in control of my life again.

On a final note, the expression 'when it rains, it pours' once again applies. Today I was offered another job, evenings and weekends. If it wasn't for the unpredictability of the hours, I might consider it. But I need to know that I'd be off by 9 so I can get home and get to bed because I have to be up at six the next morning and I know this job doesn't offer that kind of regularity. (I bet she would let me knit at work though!) No, for now, what I have is good. I'm two weeks into my current job and I'm settling into my routine.

In short, life is good.