ineptitude, despair, and restlessness

What a cheery title for a blog post.

Before Dan came to visit me from October 27th - November 15th (which is largely the cause for my internet quiet), we (thought we) were on the verge of having my interview date. We had resubmitted the things the National Visa Center (NVC) had asked us to resubmit (namely, the Japan Police certificate and the photo), and we were sure we were just a few days away from getting my date. Then they said "we need you to resubmit the photo again". So we did. And then we waited.

Finally, two weeks later, they said "we need you to resubmit the marriage certificate".

WHAT THE FUCK.

We submitted that in June or July, and seriously guys, if we have to adhere to a checklist of things to submit, why can't you check all the things that need to be submitted on the same checklist? And why not tell us all at once if there are things that need to be done instead of waiting five months?

So Dan dutifully resubmitted the marriage certificate and got the usual banal response "please allow up to 20 days for us to process".

So once again, or still, I have no idea what the next month or three or five holds.

I'm so tired of being tossed around. There is supposedly an "expedite" flag on my file, and given that my priority date is January 5, 2012, we really expected I would have been there by now. Are they really just messing with us? Because it sure seems like that with every single thing we have to do or step to take, there is a problem. It is so exasperating.

Prior to my medical exam, the appointment for which I am not allowed to make until I have the date of my interview in Montreal, I am required to get some vaccinations. The flu shot is easy, it's available anywhere. In September I called the public health clinic and was told I could get the other vaccination, Tdap, free, any time. I went to get these done yesterday. I got the flu shot at a pharmacy, and while the pharmacist did not have the Tdap (Tetanus, diptheria and pertussis) vaccine, she said I could just go to the public health clinic four blocks away and get it for free.

So off I went to the clinic. A snarky receptionist told me that NO they don't do the Tdap and that I would have to go to a travel clinic, that I would have to "purchase" the vaccine (why not just say pay for?), that I would need to make an appointment and phone around because it's not easy to find.

WTF.

Deep breath. Back to my truck. Look up number for travel clinic on my iPhone. Phone clinic. Get voice mail. Leave a message.

Two hours later they return my call. Nice receptionist. Appointment on Friday afternoon, $40 for the doctor's fee, $45 for the vaccination. So much for free health care in Canada.

Now I am mindful that Mercury is in retrograde so maybe after it goes direct on Monday then everything will work out. Even so, there is a limit to how much I can take.

I had a thing happen this morning which is not worth retelling because it is a minor thing, but it triggered an emotional response that basically broke the dam of emotions I didn't know I had been holding in. I cried for hours, felt gutted by despair, and wondered how the heck I am going to get through the next weeks or months until I can be with my husband again. I want to start living my own life again. I want to build soil and plant flowers. I want to be working and feel useful.

I'm not sure what I experienced this morning was actually a depressive episode. My last episode was some time in May, I think, and because I have had a number of them in the past year and a half that Dan and I have been apart, I am keenly aware of what it feels like. Today I was just sad and then mad. Why is my immigration taking so long? Do the letters of the senators and governors and other government officials mean nothing? Will I be with Dan for Christmas?


Yesterday I was installing foam insulation in the basement while listening to the Caithness Craft Collective podcast. LouiseJHunt has a segment called "Random Hellos" and she included me, saying "yarnsalad, how are you, O quiet one?" and that was very sweet. I have been unusually quiet-on-the-internet these past months, it's true. I have so much unstructured time you would think I would be able to put a blog post together a bit more often but alas, it has not been so.

So to wrap up, then, while I don't wish to speak disparagingly of the people who are handling my documents at the NVC, because we have had to submit and resubmit each document at least twice, it makes me wonder what their job qualifications are and what is happening to all the misplaced documents we have submitted. That's the "ineptitude" of the title of this post. Despair was me this morning, Restlessness is me now. I'm ready to move on to the next thing. There is a nice big house and yard waiting for me in Kinston and I can't wait to get unpacked. I haven't seen most of my stuff (in boxes in the basement) for a year and a half. How much longer will it be?

still waiting

Maybe tomorrow's "tomorrow" will be the right tomorrow.

There was the submitting of documents to the National Visa Center and then the waiting for them to check and see that we had everything they wanted. That took longer than expected (why are we surprised?)

So, with any luck, I will be awakened tomorrow morning by the sound and vibration of my phone, which sleeps next to me, indicating a text message from Dan saying he has talked to the NVC and here is my date and it will be something like November 4th. Or maybe it will be sooner. At any rate, I hope that we are not 12 hours away from an actual date.

Anyway, I'll let you know.

Meanwhile, last night I had dinner with some friends I hadn't seen in several months. It was so nice to be around people who share my interests, who can get equally indignant about grammatical errors, and who are always happy to see me when I come. I keep hearing from many people "I hope I don't see you again" or "I'll be happy to see you leave, but in a good way".

More on the events as they happen...

today's adventures: Logging Roads

 Second Bridge. We've been fishing here, have picked rosehips here, and have wondered what is on the other side of the bridge.

 A view of Kennedy Lake and Second Bridge.

  Dan taking a picture of Second Bridge.

 Logs washed up on shore. The waterline was the highest we've ever seen it, and there was much evidence of higher water levels.

 Tree art? Litter?

 So the campsites (this is an untended free campground, there are no services or garbage buckets here) are mostly on the left side, where water is now.

 Previously one of the campsites was on this side of the trees.

 Another flooded campsite.

 The things I found on the shore...

 When I lived in Victoria, a former co-worker from the library, Jonathan, once remarked on the huge amount of clothing he used to come across in the streets of the city. There were quite a few garments here too.

 An empty campstove fuel container. There was a disturbing amount of these.

 Styrofoam.

 I'm guessing this used to be a pillow or some other fluffy like object.

 The view from the opposite end of the beach.

 Ok this is weird. A painted pole. What was the point of this?

 A faux-Totem pole?

 My new T-shirt. Really. It was in pretty good condition so I salvaged it. It's in the washing machine as I write.

 I like this - someone carved seats out of this log.

 Our new fork.

 View from the spot we ate our picnic lunch. It was cold.

 We kept on our driving adventure and occasionally had to jump out of the truck with our axe and hatchet and play lumberjack so we could get past. This is Before.

 My Sweety!

 Watch out! I have a weapon!

 After. On we go.

Rats. This is the After but the Before for this spot in the road was WAY more impressive. We were here hacking away for a good 20 minutes. I did take a photo but it came out as a blur.