when we last left our hero

O I MISS MY SWEETY

It's killing me. I'm grumpy, you see, because I'm in this big dumb empty house, I still wake up and have to put a toque on because it's cold, I feel like I have a mountain of stuff to deal with and I'm lonely.

Dan and I aren't managing to have Skype conversations as often as I was hoping we would, say once a week. We largely communicate by text message (more specifically, a free app for iPhone called WhatsApp that allows us to send photo and video as well as our location). And as easy as text messaging is on an iPhone, it's still not the same. We don't always have time to have a proper conversation so sometimes it's just snippets. And he is three hours ahead of me so when you consider both of our work schedules, it's proving difficult to connect. It sucks.

Now having said that, on Saturday Dan went window shopping. He went to an antique furniture store in search of potential items for our home. He had put a deposit on a lovely 1824 bed frame, but they forgot about his deposit and sold it to someone else. Curses! Later that day Dan found himself in a fabric store, looking for curtain fabric. He must have sent me about 20 photos (which for some reason I can't upload to my computer or I'd show you) of bolts of pretty fabric. We have together settled on blues and yellows for our house, and now we need to sort out what will represent "us" as we actually decorate our home together for the first time since we've been together.

See when we met, Dan had only recently returned from Japan and I was a student, so neither one of us had very much in the way of furnishings. When we moved in together, nothing matched, but it was comfortable and we were happy. We had big plans for our home in Ucluelet for decorating but the money to do that never came (for which I am thankful now!) and we still don't know what the "Dan & Stacey esthetic" really looks like.

Dan wants to hold off on any real decorating until I get there, but there are certainly some things he can do in the mean time until I get there, to make it more comfortable and homey for him. This coming weekend he'll take the 200 mile trip to Charlotte to the closest IKEA and buy us a queen sized bed! I cannot tell you how excited this makes me. We three (me, Dan, kitty) have been cramming ourselves into this double bed four more than four years now. It's time for a big bed!

Meanwhile, my last day of work is on Thursday. The girls from Tofino's Stitch Night have decided we need to move Stitch Night to a restaurant for our Sex and the City themed dress up party. As luck would have it, I still have my gold tango shoes! And a saucy little top I got in Japan. Photos to follow.

I go back and forth from complaining about how much crap I have to dispose of and then remembering how glad I am to be getting rid of it all. It will feel amazing to leave here with only what is in the truck, feeling a lightness and freedom of a ship under sail. I'm tired, to be sure. On top of my work at the hospital and the commute, I've been packing, cleaning, organizing, connecting with people, finding homes for things, missing Dan, responding to my family's frequent "what's happening NOW" inquiries, wondering when the postal workers are going back to work, and worrying about money. What I really want to be doing is knitting. And I do, in between everything else, but not as much as I'd like. Soon, soon I will have time.

I think Sam will be fine. She has adjusted to her new litter box, and I found cat food for her that she doesn't throw up. I tried using a harness on her and while she didn't really like it at first, she stopped struggling after a while. Kitty knows she is coming with me and she'll be okay.

Dan is doing fine. I get a bit worried when his Twitter messages express wonder whether the BBQ place he's been eating at puts crack in their food because it is apparently that good. I get a bit worried when he tweets about the violent storms. And I'm sure he worries about me. He'll worry about me every day that I'm driving towards him and probably won't settle until I'm there. Immigration said "75 days" which puts me crossing the border around the first week of September, give or take. If I get a job, it will be sooner.

Meanwhile, my sister is thrilled with the idea of having me there for the summer. She has big plans for me: pruning trees (is totally okay with my motto: "it will grow back"), harvesting fruit, painting walls, moving furniture. It will also give me a chance to reestablish myself as the Favourite Auntie. With four aunties and I'm the only one who doesn't live nearby, it is obvious that I need to be the cool/fun/best auntie. Will do my best to work my auntie mojo.

Had my garage sale yesterday. Thankfully Kirsten handled most of the sales while I was inside cleaning - that girl could sell salt water to a sailor! It was great! It relieved me of having to deal emotionally with putting prices on my crap. The deal was fill a box for $5. Twenty boxes left yesterday. If I ever have a garage sale again, that will be the way to go. I brought home lots of boxes from the hospital for the purpose. Today, everything that didn't sell, went to the dump. I know, I'm sorry, I just didn't have time to get it to the second hand store. I'm still in #purgemode and time is running out.

Time is running out. Three more days of work, a few more dinners with friends, and I sweep up behind me as I back myself out of my life in Ucluelet, step into that liminal space before my life in North Carolina begins.

As always with me & Dan, the adventure continues...

home

 This is where I will receive all the mail you send me.

 This is Dan's truck parked outside our house.

 The neighbors/landlords, I think.

A view of the road in front of our house.

The clothesline where I will hang our laundry!

The corn field that I will get to plant food in when it is not being used for corn.

yarnsalad has some codeine

I've been grumpy for much of the last week. I miss Dan, I'm ready to leave, there was a full moon and an eclipse. Grump, grump, grump. Then, yesterday, I realized that much of my grumpiness can be attributed to PMS.

WHUMP.

I woke up this morning with migraine, cramps, lower back pain. I was supposed to offload a boat but I called in sick. There is no way I could be around cigarette smoke or the sound of forklifts for five hours, much less do mathematical calculations.

With the cramps and back pain I had yesterday, I had used up almost all of the ibuprofen we had in the house. How can this be? We are usually quite well stocked. Well, I live in a town where nothing really opens until 10am, especially on a Sunday, so there was no help for it. I had to get out the T3.

I think quite some time ago I posted about the sandwich-sized ziploc bag our former landlords gave us that was full of extra-strength Tylenol & T3s. We have been using them over the years (four years now) and they sure do come in handy.

I'm not very fond of taking codeine, I don't like what it does to me. I feel fuzzy and numb, like when I turn my head, the room takes a half second to catch up. But it often does the trick where a migraine is concerned. (I don't have a prescription for migraine meds, see, and even though I have medical coverage through the hospital, I don't want to be spending money on these things).

So this is where I am right now - in a codeine fuzz...

Go Date

I've been doing math this morning. Math to see how much income I'll have in the coming weeks, what needs to be paid, and what side of zero I'll end up on after all those pluses and minuses are done. I have determined that it will make sense for me to leave the hospital sooner rather than later. As it stands right now, my last day is July 22 but I would really like to leave sooner.

Not a digression:
Last night, Kat & Kirsten showed up for Friday Stitch Night right at 7:00. I wasn't ready, guests don't usually show up until after 7:30, so I had my iPod on, rubber gloves, washing dishes. Oh! Said I, I'll put on some tea. Two minutes later when Ellie and Erin showed up, I knew that they had all conspired to celebrate before I left. As Kirsten put it "We're not going to let you sneak off like Dan did". (How did they know I was planning to sneak off?) Faye arrived shortly thereafter and we had a wonderful and lively chat.

Why this isn't a digression: this was a send-off, you see. And when I say I had been thinking of sneaking off, I mean that I have been thinking about finding a way to go sooner and then just sort of slipping out of town, loose ends tied up. I have a short list of people I would contact about this, so these knitting gals that were here last night were really in no danger of me running off without saying goodbye, but it was a very sweet gesture and I absolutely appreciate it. But it meant something more to me: it means I have permission to go now. The people that have been really important to me in my life here were all there last night (well, there are two others but they are not knitters and I will say goodbye to them in a different context). When I have a final date at the hospital there will be cake, there will be a card (I've seen this process a few times now, I know what to expect). But yes, it's time for me to go, and I am (mentally) ready to go.

According to my figuring, if you were to tell me right now that I can cross the border, I would need a month to finish my job, clear out & clean up the house, do my last round of visiting in Victoria, my last round of visiting in Alberta, and then time to get to North Carolina. I want to be able to be there as soon as possible. There are finances involved and honestly, my income from my job barely supports my life here. After my bills are paid, there is nothing left - so what am I working for? My original plan was to leave here and wait on the south end of the island (Cowichan Bay or Victoria), but I had an idea this morning that it might make more sense for me to wait for my departure date from the farm in Alberta. I haven't seen my nephew in two years (nor my father, for that matter), and it would be so nice to actually spend some time with my family rather than just a couple of days on my way though.  There, when my permission to cross the border comes, I can do it within a day or two. If I cross the border because of a job, I can be in North Carolina in less that ten days rather than three weeks. It just makes more sense to me.

Not cast in stone but this is what is on my mind today.

I answered a question about you

Has anyone else received this message? Two people I know on facebook have been sucked into this gimmick and I am really irritated about this. The people who created this program try to lure you into participating by piquing your curiosity; we all want to know what is being said about us.

Tell you what, though, I didn't fall for it. If you click the link, you then have to agree to share your personal information and that is not why I am on facebook. So I don't know what question these people answered about me and I may never know. I don't care. This is me refusing to participate.

(Sorry if I sound grumpy; with the full moon/eclipse just behind us and a whole swathe of irritations flying at me this week, is it any wonder?)

yarnsalad misses her Sweety

It's been so long since I've had a Skype conversation with Dan, I can't actually remember when it was. It was definitely before I cut my hair.

They have been keeping him busy, see, what with their new canning line installed and running. They are putting in 12-16 hour days pumping that beer into cans. I know this is important and good for the company, exactly the kind of dedication Dan offers at the company expects. But...


I miss My Sweety.

We have only exchanged a few text messages here and there over the last several days, and this isolation is making my Island of Loneliness all the more difficult. I miss hanging out with Dan, we have so much fun in each others' company.

Tonight he promises a Skype date. I can hardly wait.

yarnsalad gets a massage

Before Dan left, he said "I give you permission to get a massage".

And it wasn't like he is letting me do it, it was more like this is something I really should let myself do because I deserve it. I think he's right.

So last week I went to lay under the powerful magical hands of Tawnija in Tofino. I met Tawnija last year when she took one of my early knitting classes at Knits by the Sea. I had been meaning to go see her for the longest time but somehow never managed it.

View from massage hut

View of the massage hut

It was, in short, amazing. I've had many massages before, but they were all medically sanctioned (as in I got a referral from my doctor to see a Registered Massage Therapist) or by students at the West Coast College of Massage Therapy, or was aromatherapy massage in someone's home. With Tawnija, it was different. It was in a spa.

Not what most people think of when they think of a spa, perhaps, but this is Tofino. The hut overlooks the inlet that leads to the ocean.

Tawnija's hands are, in short, amazing. She is so strong and her hands can read every little creak. It had been some years since I have had a massage but I know the routine of it. I should mention here that I can't actually afford a spa massage, but T made me an offer I couldn't refuse. One day (soon I hope!) I will be able to return the favor in kind.

I had knots in places I didn't know about, was tight and had tension in surprising places. I guess I thought that since I didn't have chronic pain, there weren't many problems. I was wrong! What ended up happening is that T unlocked a whole bunch of stuff that had been solid for a while. She loosened me up with her adept hands, and sent me on my way.

The next day, I was in pain. I felt like I had been pelted. Those places that T had unlocked were protesting sitting up, standing. After three hours at work, I went home and headed back to bed, heat on my back.

Over the next few days, I noticed the activities that aggravated the places that T had found to be giving me trouble. I realized that that spot in my left shoulder had a knot in it because of the way I drive, holding the steering wheel with my left hand.

I have an arrangement with Tawnija now to go see her every Wednesday until I move. I went back today for session 2, and she tells me that she can tell the difference from week to week when people come in regularly. I sure can notice. I don't feel nearly as pummeled as I did last week. In fact, I feel relaxed. Like you're supposed to after a massage. Who knew?