tearing me apart

I should probably wait until this big wave of emotion settles into calmness, but you know me, I'm "in the moment".

Just had a text conversation with Dan. He met with an immigration lawyer today and is pleased with the outcome. For some reason, I took that same information as the prolonging of agony. He said average is 90 days, could be as long as 4 months. I now know what four months without him is like and I don't like it one bit. Ninety days means end of January. I was really hoping to see Dan by Christmas.

But the lawyer told of a case where the processing of a French woman only took 11 days from the time the papers were filed, so who knows. If there is such a thing as looking on our case with compassion, I hope they do it. I hope they do take into consideration that form I signed at the border in September where I agreed not to attempt the border without the right documents. See? I'm cooperating.

It's the not knowing that is killing me. I miss my husband tremendously and missing Dan is by far the worst of it. But uncertainty is also this big evil cloud looming over my mood.

So what happens next is the filing of the documents by the lawyer and then (if I understood Dan correctly) within 30 days she'll have a timeframe to give us. I will be in pins and needles for all of November. 

On the bright side (because I must think of a bright side, since that will help me get through this), in terms of knitting, Christmas is not that far away. If I operate on the assumption that I will see Dan at Christmas, I have a lot of knitting to get done before then. My sister's daughter would like her requested yellow mittens soon, well before her birthday, because the weather is turning cold there. Ok. And I started a new project yesterday. I shouldn't have, because I already have several projects, but as Christmas *is* coming soon, I couldn't help but cast on. And I won't even be able to tell you about my knitting for the next two months because most of the recipients will read my blog. (See that? I'm distracting myself from being sad. YAY knitting).

I am also very moved and touched by the outpouring of support I have received here and on Twitter, as well as my friends in Victoria and on the Island. Whenever I have encountered my friends here, they are sorry about my circumstances but happy to see me. Knowing I have such support and that I am loved by so many really does help me get through this trying time, and for that, my friends, I thank you.